I've been thinking a lot about why I really dislike certain people or specific things about certain people. There are of course many different reasons, but the one I have been thinking about most is Some people have their act together in a way that makes me feel inadequate. This is only because they are doing what I wish I was doing and at present am too lazy/unorganized to do. Mothers who are educating their children, people with clean houses or those who magnifying their callings fall into this category. My time management skills really sucks right now. I am not working with Zelda as much as I would like on her reading and math because I have a never-ending list of chores around the house that I am constantly working on and an even bigger list of projects I would like start/finish. Also, I actually forgot that I have a calling for a little while; I'm the Relief Society Meeting Coordinator. Hmm... I pretty sure that that is the opposite of magnifying my calling. It sounds like I have too much to do which is only the case if you choose to look at it that way.
I am constantly setting myself up for failure because I have unrealistic expectations for what I can get done in a day and I feel like a failure when I don't get them all done. Of course I can't wash/dry/fold/hang/put away seven loads of laundry, feed the girls three home-cooked meals with two snacks, wash/put away all dishes, clean the fish tank, organize all random paperwork, vacuum, sweep/mop, and sanitize the bathrooms, organize the craft room and the garage, leisurely read a book, study the scriptures, coordinate/execute FHE including the treat, work out, find time to hang out with Henri and sleep all in one day. It sounds like I'm exaggerating, but I have at times really thought I could get that all done if I just worked faster. In fact, as I reread the list now I am considering the different ways that I could get everything done. Wow, I have issues.
So, how do I cope and get on with it? I am constantly prioritizing tasks, so that the most important things don't get pushed to the bottom of my To Do List, such as dancing and reading with the girls. I also try to remember that it doesn't really matter what other people think about me as long as I'm confident in myself. It really bothers me when I think that people think of me as a flake because I am constantly changing my plans. I love making plans and doing things with family and friends, but sometimes things come up and I have to re-prioritize. Generally this applies to me being in a constant state of tardiness which goes back to my unrealistic expectations of what I can get done in a certain amount of time. Mostly I cope because I am an unfailing optimist who genuinely likes herself. I believe that my good qualities far outweigh my bad ones and I try to remind myself of that on days when I dwell for too long on the latter.
Here are some photos of the girls I took after re-prioritizing my laundry and the dishes with taking them outside to try out their new snowsuits in our first/only snow of the year. Norah was napping : )
3 comments:
So thankful you opened up so I can realize I'm not the only one. Sometimes I think we have a successful day if we are all dressed before noon! And you have three kids...I only have two! Your kids seem happy and healthy (and gorgeous) so it looks like you are doing a great job already. Thanks for your thoughts!
Well, I could just copy and paste your post to my blog! That is exactly how I feel, oh, 98% of the time!
If it's on blogs that you see all the "perfectness" of others, just know that all the "hard" parts of their life probably aren't posted, or at least not often. I feel like that with people in "real" life and then we get talking and it turns out that they often struggle just as much as I do.
Give yourself a break,and a pat on the back, life is about learning and reorganizing to fit our changes and that's okay. I can tell how much you love your girls, and if I can tell that just through your writing then I am sure that they feel it so much, and Henri too-and that is the most important thing. It will get better, just give yourself time. Great post!
Vent, vent, vent, vent, justify, vent, vent....here are some pictures.
Haha, as though you are pounding on some clay and then "here's a bowl."
I doubt the girls went back inside and complained to each other about the lack of clean underwear and folded socks. You made the right decision.
When you are holding something up that you admire about somebody you attach it to them. When in reality these things we hold in such high regard are generally a very small part of what the person does day to day. A lot of times it is simply timing that makes it seem as though "geez, they do this all the time."
There is not enough time in the day to do everything. Set your core priorities and stick to them.
25 years from now all of your kids will be back home, gathered in your kitchen talking about what it was like when they were kids. I would almost guarantee that you won't hear "we always had the most elaborate and well thought out FHMs."
I guess what I'm trying to say is, you don't have to knock every attempt out of the park.
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